Yearning For Hope

474055_827a2e7d21, originally uploaded by michelle_upm.

Dear Dad,
The 11th anniversary of your passing is not until December,but for no particular reason, I thought about you last night.And it made me cry involuntary tears into my pillow.
I found myself wishing you were still alive,so you could see me now.You could see how far I've come.I wish you were alive today, so I could make you proud.I'm not studying anything grand,but I'm happy doing what I'm doing.I am fulfilled.
I felt just a tiny bit sad, because I have this little wish to start learning how to play the guitar.Chords are okay to learn, but strumming's tricky.I found myself asking, wouldn't it be nice if you were here to give me strumming tips.( I remember that you were a self taught guitarist).
I suppose the forthcoming trip to Singapore has brought back memories.Singapore.
I remember Singapore.
The source of your attempted cure,
the place of my broken sorrow.
I remember Mount Elizabeth.I remember standing at the end of a long corridor capped with glass windows,the sun flooding in,yearning for a hope that would not come.I remember the insecurity and the waiting.But the insecurity most of all.

And this weekend I go back to Singapore,the place of your attempted cure, the place of my broken sorrow.