I am in pain. It's the kind that makes you wish for death. It starts in the back, moves up the spine, spreads through the shoulders like wildfire and then plunges down into the abdomen like a serpent from hell. Stops there for a while and creeps up to my heart where it has stayed for the past I-don't know-how-long, scrunching and pulling. Refusing to leave no matter how much I struggle. If it doesn't go away, I'm thinking of taking a knife and cutting it out myself.
Yes, you are part of the cause.
You've destroyed us and now you're paying the price. You judgemental bastard!. The island you've found yourself in is of your own creation.
Even now I have to live with the labels you forced upon me. People think I'm a timid, nerdy, incapable of public speech or confrontation. All of it changes now. NOW.
You've done worse to others. You've destroyed their reputation and their trust in their fellow believers. You've left nothing but a legacy of merciless judgementalism, narrow-mindedness and outright resistance to the work of the Holy Spirit. Which your disciples still follow to this day. They still carry your blood sentiments.
Well, I'm leaving them. Call it what you want. The 'great divorce'.
You deserve every drop of loneliness. I have no more tender feelings in my heart. They are gone. Long gone.
