My Blog Has a follower?

Uhm..there goes my privacy..haha,and I thought nobody comes here.

I've been wondering to myself if I will repeat old mistakes again this week, and blaming myself for falling too easily in love.
I am wondering if there is a method to go through life but not getting hurt.
I am wondering if distancing myself and letting emotions pass and not forming any lasting connections is the way to do it.
I am wondering why I always feel things so much stronger than other people.
I am wondering why I cannot stay in one place too long.
I am wondering.

Comic Fiesta 2010-It's-Over-9000

There's a storm outside my window right now..and my feelings are pretty much the same.
Yes, another event is over and I have to deal with the withdrawal symptoms, but this is no ordinary event, it's Comic Fiesta. Most of us wait a whole year for it, with so much of anticipation and expectation, and suddenly before you know it, it's over.

Virgilia' wand..completed the day before CF..from cardboard and hot glue.

I know most of my friends are dealing with the after effects of CF as well, and it comes out in really strange ways..like out of character emo-ness on Facebook.

But when all's been said and done, I really had a blast.

It's shiro kuro socks on resting mode, day 1.

This year it was held in Berjaya Times Square Hotel's Manhattan Ballroom from Dec 18-19. Really crowded, like no oxygen I'm in the old Puduraya on Hari Raya eve kind of crowded.

Okay, I know, the picture doesn't depict it. That's because this was taken really early on the first day, when everyone was still lining up for tickets.
( I pre-booked mine..yay!).

Right..let's skip the boring parts..and on to the Top ten CF 2010 moments, in no particular order.



-Hugging Domo-kun along random corridor on day 2(Pic Courtesy of Elizebeth Mah)

-Berth and Flo stopped by, even though they weren't into this kind of thing, but they made an effort at the end of day 1 to come say hi and take pictures *hugs*. It was Bert's first time being exposed to cosplay and she found it interesting to the max. ( I really enjoyed sitting on the toilet floor and talking to you both)


(pic courtesy of KaoruRanRan)
-Hanging out with Nekos and Bunnies on day 2, having lunch and shooting random videos.

-Being followed by Enma Ai (woots Sin-Lin) on day 1

-and again on day 2 (woots Kumiko), somehow, Wonder if I have an invisible "please stick with me, Jigouko Shoujo" sign on me back.



-Having Sin Lin, Tim and Jeremy stay over and getting my first christmas gift from them
Sankyu sankyu.
-Male crossplayers...what can i say..I *hearts* them... I can't help it. I actually wish there were more for me to fangirl. Above is guest18 as azu-nyaaan, winner of the 2010 saimoe award.

-watching performances and the final cosplay solo competition on day 2..while Sitting Down..that's such a miracle..to get to seeet down. Fav perf was Shiomaru..but I was so blown away by her voice i didn't take any pics, and of course The Version



-Finally, receiving and getting to wear the Bunny Squad T-shirt, then taking emo poses with Shiki.
The-end..now I shall go into a corner and continue in my depressed state.

Blessed Christmas everyoneee..

Cutlery

My life seems be from one controlling b**tard to another. I wish it was legal to gauge someones eye out with a fork.

When it Rains

God,
Isn't it unfair,
that those who ruined my life,
get off scott-free?

Teach Me

Dad, I'm really sorry.
I think I've focused too much on what i don't have,til I've forgotten to see what I do have. You are good, and I will never forget it. Teach me to never forget it.
I'm thankful for this thing called cosplay. Whatever others may say about it, I know somehow, you meant for me to be here.
What is salt, if it stays only in the shaker?
So,
what is Michelle, of she stays only in one place, with 90% of the people in her phone list being all one type?
Whatever others may perceive, this is my worship to You,
to bring encouragement, kindness and hope wherever needed.
To be a friend.

Thank you for showing me the answer to my question,
when I said, how could I possibly be in the ACG community? It's like entering blindfolded into the wilderness, not knowing if I'll be safe, or hurt, or even if my current friends will abandon me.
I thank you, because only hours after I asked this question,
there they are...
Vocaloids..
having lunch at Papa Rich..before a photoshoot.

Papa no Tegami

Yes, this is me,
I'm angry,
yes
at You.

I've followed all your rules,
and yet,
I am unhappy.

I can't give you the painter's brush
not yet..
I still love You..but
yes,
I'm angry.
and yes,
at You.

Mushrooms and Costumes

I'm wondering to myself, how long i can keep doing this..I mean, live in two worlds.
I wonder if the rest of them feel like that too?

Every time we meet and I leave and I suffer post event blues..because my daily life starts becoming a mundane set of places and people obsessed with sticking to the rules and norm,
then I start feeling trapped and I want to meet them again..

One day, something bad is gonna happen.

But until then, right,
I just don't care.
It's not like I'm doing something wrong.

This is called , being happy-chan.

Shake my Heart- Shake my World Version

I am officially in awe of the people over at Yui-Lovers:


Recently, 25 of them came together and recorded a cover of YUI's song "Shake My Heart".
What's so great? you ask..
well, they're all from 14 different countries..

Listen:


Amazing talent, especially Kikino and Tsunvun86(mixing). Just imagine, where technology has gotten us now..there really are no boundaries, when it can bring 25 strangers together from around the world.

Full credits:


Vocal:lamevil (Singapore),E.guitar:tsunvun86 (Australia),A.guitar:natchi(Singapore)
Bass.asuna(Singapore), Shaker:Kikino (Chile)
Mixing:tsunvun86 & Kikino

~World chorus~
Aaron (Singapore) – Alicia (Indonesia) – Anji (Philippines) – asuna (Singapore) – azmi (Indonesia) -Badii (France) – Diana (México) – dso (Spain) – G.C. (United Kingdom) – Gotchi (Canada) – Gunsolex – (Singapore) ids (Netherlands) – kiki (Chile) – Mikaelly (Brasil) – MrSean (USA) – moonchild (Singapore) – Sakura (France) sakuraich (USA) – Suri (Spain) – tsunvun86 (Australia) – unguanime (Indonesia) – Vinsu (USA) – waratte (USA) – weirdmedol (Philippines)


and click here to read how it all happened..

p/s- If you're wondering about Malaysia, don't worry, we're represented as well...on one of the other covers..Thanks to Elrinz.

pp/s- YUI-san played this world cover version on the latest YUI-locks ( one of her radio programmes) Listen here.

Home

The feeling of missing the sea, is difficult to understand.
I guess..
only if one has grown up beside it for twenty odd years, and then left the nest,
to seek a future in a forest of concrete,
does one start to miss it,
deeply.

So, to ease the pain, only photographs, taken on a trip home, to search myself.



A a child, I would take my papa's hand in one ,and a stalk of weed (with that whitish top thingee) in the other hand, and go for evening walks,
here, at the seafront at Portuguese Settlement. My favourite part, the wooden jetty..now gone,
now replaced.
And so, because all is unrecognizable, I am reminded,
so am I.
Remnants of the carefree child, now gone, now replaced.
But stronger,
somehow,
determined to survive, to live,
to build my own happiness.


P/s-now listening to:



La chanteuse Bretagne, Cecile Corbel, whom I discovered because she's composing the OST for the New Ghibli Project

Incidently, En la mar is about a woman in a tower,
by the sea..

In and Around Life

Hokay..enough emo-ness.
Some updates, updates, updates...

Recent sightings:


yes, apologize before anything happens....


The Tay twins arrived early last month. Maximum the adorable...
Neko-chan is lounging, in front of the office..


while the rest of the department staff is overworked

Ada bilik pass kah?

Recently, while writing a paper and repeatedly retrieving and replacing files,

Somehow, they ended up in a jenga formation?
And later that night..

Eh............Pyramid?


Maximum the adorable twin's Mummy and Daddy let me have this Bear lamp from G.D.O. designs...and now I'm officially a fan.
Interestingly, no switch was detected, until maximum the adorable twins punya Daddy discovered that we switch it on by touching the metal base..
otsukare-sama..

And on the YUI front,

New album.
She's so beautiful, I could die..

but I'm pretty sure I'm straight...ne?

Things to look forward to: Bon Odori is next week...suteki!!

Yoru no Namida

Who sees these tears, shed alone, in the middle of the night?
Who sees this heart, always an open wound, sensitive with pain?
I am now a living shell.
The part of me that mattered, died with you,
the only one who has ever loved me.

Take me with you.
I can bear no more.

Sympathy for Michal

Left,
out of your heart,
my love,
for seven years.

Now,
you desire,
me back,
from Palti's arms.

There,
you dance as if,
never,
did hurt mine heart.

Once,
bitter words are spent,
therefore,
no turning back.

I spend them,
nevertheless......

Songs for Sunday Nights

I am wondering, did I bring this upon myself?
this abject pain.
It is becoming unbearable.
Unbearable...
and yet I have to continue living.
Why are You putting me through this?
rejection I can take,
but this is anguish in the uttermost.

I am trying to see the light of all this, as I try in every situation.
This time, i see it
not at all.

Utau

In this place called unknowing, I find myself.
For one who thrives on finding knowledge, unknowing is the worst place to be.
But in this darkness, i hear Your voice, telling me it will be okay, and I believe it, God.
As long as I hear your voice, the unknowing, is tolerable.
I-nearness to You-is good for me.

Atashi wa, koko de, utau hajimeru.

Sore wa sore, kore wa kore..

The great MINES lake, as seen from Serdang Perdana Condo:


Rainy season, me likey
...and I'll hang up more teru teru bozu so that the weather will be like this
more often.

Everytime I'm sad, or down, I'll tell myself that if I live righteously,
and try my best to make others happy, one day, I'll find some rest or release...

Like this little fella, who was caught nibbling on our plants in greenhouse 4A (Baited him with pisang goreng from my favourite snack stand)

After that released him in the Urban animal reserve behind UPM mosque...
kawaii!!
These are agar-agar kristal (crystalized agar) from Akmal's wedding. Tasted great. Wanted more. Have to watch calories...uhu.
Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. never knew such things existed...

Ee?
akai mafura (red muffler), just like in YUI's B-side to the single [Gloria], [Muffler]

Her next single [to Mother] is coming out soon...waiting, waiting.
What can one make of a girl who dresses like a kindergarten teacher, but sings songs like this:

Tonight-SONY Music preview

It's probably like a friend who is talkative one week and avoids you the next, then gets talkative again...hen na , ne?

....but you let them get away with it, because you love them.

Sore dewa, bye-en!

Not Particularly Lightheaded

I'm just taking time out today to think aloud.



Just for you who have not heard, FSCC as it is , will not exist in a few more months. Daniel has decided to go independant, as ICC(Ignite Community Centre). That is his decision.



This is my decision,

to go as well.

I've said this to myself, and will say it again. It is not a rebellion.

Merely an agreement to disagree regarding focus and emphasis. We have tried our best to submit to authority these past one year, and now it is an amicable parting.



Sometimes, it is okay to disagree with your parents. It is made alright by the fact that your parents release you with their love and blessings.

Thank you,

to all the elders and pastors in FGA KL, for being so understanding and releasing Daniel. Thank you for understanding each of us as well, as we make our individual decisions whether or not to stay or go.



Thank you for the freedom to make decisions.

For me, parental blessing means a lot, and I regard many of you as spiritual parents.



One year ago, I set my heart on leaving the nest because I wanted to be more effective to the community. That has not changed.

That is why, with your permission, and God's wings, I want to fly.

Almost Famous

Stumbled across this today, the absolute BEST cosplay documentary made so far,
by Channel News Asia:


(Go to youtube for parts 2 to 5)
I could really relate to what was portrayed because it was so honest.

The closing statements really struck me:

"..If you think in rational terms,
it's difficult to comprehend the motivations of Japan's growing contingent of cosplayers.
To get into costume, and in so doing allow their lives to revolve around what remains to be
an ostracized subculture,
they're not motivated by financial reward, of which there is little.
perhaps not by fame,
because that is limited as well.
Cosplayers are prepared to endure sacrifices of time and money,
and even respect from their society,
to be part of something they consider larger than themselves..
A community that shares in their passions,
and a movement,
that brings colour to the cultural landscape."

Well, isn't that true for all of us gaijin cosplayers as well?

In Transit

When I was travelling to Nepal couple of years back, I remember I had to transit between Kuala Lumpur and Kathmandu, at Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi airport.

Today, I am reminded of that four hours. It has struck me. My life right now, is like that.
What can one do, when in transit?
Nothing much.
While I was in Suvarnabhumi, I sat

facing this scenery, for most of the time.
Which was quiet a long time.
Mostly watching people.
And I saw so many.
Asians, Caucasians, from many nations, all gabbering in tongues I couldn't tell, wheeling their luggage as if their life depended on it, and none of them staying very long. Many were scurrying off.
I was bored out of my wits at that moment, trying to find a worthy distraction, but there were none to be had.
And so I waited, and watched ( and took pictures, toilet breaks and short window shopping excursions), but mostly, just sat and watched.

Today I have decided, it seems life has come to a transit period. So I must wait, be patient , observe and learn, until my flight comes in.
But then that's the difference isn't it?
This time, i don't have a clue when I'm supposed to leave, and have no idea where I'm going.
Surprisingly, it doesn't bother me.
Not in the least.

Holy Week

Thank You for the cross, my Friend.

Coverslips

Imogen Heap's Hide and Seek original,

The effect is achieved with an electronic harmonizer.
Some should know this song,
samples of it have been in a recently overplayed hip-hop thing.

Now then, the acoustic guitar cover:


*overwhelmed with Josh Fredette's talent*
Is it strange to say, I like the cover better than the original?